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savioursephMore 5 minute stories to stun and dismay from last night's AIM chat...
Scent - Link/Pumpkin, Link/Ilia (TP)
Ilia knew that smell - she just couldn't place it at the moment. It brought to mind thoughts of delicious, filling soups and pies; a homely, baking kind of a smell, which was why it seemed so out of place lingering around Link's crotch. She wished she knew what it was though - it was rather distracting her from what she was doing down there in the first place.
Meanwhile, Colin was walking around the village brandishing a shovel, eyes shiftily flitting around the ground below.
"What are you doing?"
"There's rats."
"Rats?!" Beth squeaked.
"Yeah - you should've seen the state of the pumpkin patch; holes in all of them."
Beth picked up a nearby rake and joined Colin in his futile hunt for vermin.
Drunk - Oocca/Shad (TP)
Were they drunk?
That was the only explanation for it that Shad could come up with. What else could have created this apart from copious amounts of whatever Goddesses drink to lose control of their motor functions. The unholy fusion of foetus and chicken, complete with bowling pin stripes and layer after layer of what appeared to be breasts. And let's not even start on the noise they made. These were the creators of the Hylians? These? It quite simply buggered belief.
In his shock over his creator, he didn't realise one of them (whose name was Ooccarina, by the way) was sneaking up on him until it was too late; she jumped high into the air and undid his oversized bow-tie in one skilful manoeuvre, then leapt against his chest, knocking him to the ground.
*scene deleted for sanity's sake*
Shad sat on the ground, rocking unsteadily and mumbling to himself. Drink! Yes, that was the answer. Drink and lots of it!
Strung out on the dung drug - Potion Shop Lady/Link (OoT)
He walked into the dark, deeply fragranced store with his strange, iridescent prize. He handed it to the old hag behind the mahogany counter and waited for her to do whatever she planned on doing with the strange red mushroom, mesmerised by the flames flickering in the lamps placed around the shop.
Eventually, she produced a piece of yellowed paper with a blob of red in the centre.
"Care to try it before you hand it over?" she inquired, cackling gleefully.
He hesitated - who knew what the potion would do to him - but he figured she would do him no harm. He dipped his finger and tasted the sweet red mass.
Almost instantly, his eyes began to waver. The flames in the lamps seemed to fill the room, forming the strangest shapes - things he had never seen or wished to see. The old witch behind the counter was no more - in her place was the perfect woman - her beauty magnified by the swirling flames. Whatever this divine avatar of beauty wanted, he would be at her whim.
The old hag chuckled to herself, as the stunning example of boyhood in front of her disrobed. It had been a long time, and she wasted none.
Centipede - Every single male in the game ever (OoT)
They stretched their way from horizon to horizon, from Lake Hylia to Death Mountain in a seemingly never-ending line of copulation. One gigantic, erotic centipede, it's body seeming to ripple as each man thrust in turn. Every man from the history of Hyrule had hopped aboard the mantrain and it was quite a sight - they formed a barrier of love straight across the land; a barrier preventing all from getting to or from the desert.
It had been Zelda's idea; she wanted a way to make sure Ganon could never reach the castle. So in her position as Sage of Time, she found a way to bring everyone from their time to hers - create an army so vast as to be unstoppable. Unfortunately, it didn't pan out quite as she expected - although their methods did seem to be proving effective. Not one gerudo in sight.
As she looked along the man-made, made-of-man monument she saw the reason for this: Dotted along the line were every incarnation of her foe, both human and porcine, thrusting for all their worth.
Oh well... as long as they were keeping themselves busy.
Crisis - Link + Zelda (Z2AoL)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
"What is it now?"
"There's no way in hell I'm going out looking like this!"
"Looking like what?"
"Oh yeah right - like you can't tell. Fucking men! Honest to Din!"
"Oh right... Zit?"
"Zit?! Where?!"
"OK, not the Zit then"
"What do you mean, THE zit?"
"Erm..."
"Oh. Dear. Lady."
"It's ok - just colour it in with eyeliner and call it a beauty spot"
"Should I even dignify that with a response?"
"OK then - what was the original conniption all about, seeing as I just seem to make things worse?"
"Oh, it's nothing."
"It didn't really sound like nothing"
"No, no... If you can't see it then I'm sure nobody else will. I'm just paranoid! It's alright for you - you just wear the same green dress every single day! I have to make an effort with this kind of thing! What would people think if their princess showed up looking like some cheap tavern strumpet? Actually I think I WILL do that! It's not like you'd even notice!"
"(oh for fuck's sa...)"
"WHAT?!"
*run*
Scent - Link/Pumpkin, Link/Ilia (TP)
Ilia knew that smell - she just couldn't place it at the moment. It brought to mind thoughts of delicious, filling soups and pies; a homely, baking kind of a smell, which was why it seemed so out of place lingering around Link's crotch. She wished she knew what it was though - it was rather distracting her from what she was doing down there in the first place.
Meanwhile, Colin was walking around the village brandishing a shovel, eyes shiftily flitting around the ground below.
"What are you doing?"
"There's rats."
"Rats?!" Beth squeaked.
"Yeah - you should've seen the state of the pumpkin patch; holes in all of them."
Beth picked up a nearby rake and joined Colin in his futile hunt for vermin.
Drunk - Oocca/Shad (TP)
Were they drunk?
That was the only explanation for it that Shad could come up with. What else could have created this apart from copious amounts of whatever Goddesses drink to lose control of their motor functions. The unholy fusion of foetus and chicken, complete with bowling pin stripes and layer after layer of what appeared to be breasts. And let's not even start on the noise they made. These were the creators of the Hylians? These? It quite simply buggered belief.
In his shock over his creator, he didn't realise one of them (whose name was Ooccarina, by the way) was sneaking up on him until it was too late; she jumped high into the air and undid his oversized bow-tie in one skilful manoeuvre, then leapt against his chest, knocking him to the ground.
*scene deleted for sanity's sake*
Shad sat on the ground, rocking unsteadily and mumbling to himself. Drink! Yes, that was the answer. Drink and lots of it!
Strung out on the dung drug - Potion Shop Lady/Link (OoT)
He walked into the dark, deeply fragranced store with his strange, iridescent prize. He handed it to the old hag behind the mahogany counter and waited for her to do whatever she planned on doing with the strange red mushroom, mesmerised by the flames flickering in the lamps placed around the shop.
Eventually, she produced a piece of yellowed paper with a blob of red in the centre.
"Care to try it before you hand it over?" she inquired, cackling gleefully.
He hesitated - who knew what the potion would do to him - but he figured she would do him no harm. He dipped his finger and tasted the sweet red mass.
Almost instantly, his eyes began to waver. The flames in the lamps seemed to fill the room, forming the strangest shapes - things he had never seen or wished to see. The old witch behind the counter was no more - in her place was the perfect woman - her beauty magnified by the swirling flames. Whatever this divine avatar of beauty wanted, he would be at her whim.
The old hag chuckled to herself, as the stunning example of boyhood in front of her disrobed. It had been a long time, and she wasted none.
Centipede - Every single male in the game ever (OoT)
They stretched their way from horizon to horizon, from Lake Hylia to Death Mountain in a seemingly never-ending line of copulation. One gigantic, erotic centipede, it's body seeming to ripple as each man thrust in turn. Every man from the history of Hyrule had hopped aboard the mantrain and it was quite a sight - they formed a barrier of love straight across the land; a barrier preventing all from getting to or from the desert.
It had been Zelda's idea; she wanted a way to make sure Ganon could never reach the castle. So in her position as Sage of Time, she found a way to bring everyone from their time to hers - create an army so vast as to be unstoppable. Unfortunately, it didn't pan out quite as she expected - although their methods did seem to be proving effective. Not one gerudo in sight.
As she looked along the man-made, made-of-man monument she saw the reason for this: Dotted along the line were every incarnation of her foe, both human and porcine, thrusting for all their worth.
Oh well... as long as they were keeping themselves busy.
Crisis - Link + Zelda (Z2AoL)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
"What is it now?"
"There's no way in hell I'm going out looking like this!"
"Looking like what?"
"Oh yeah right - like you can't tell. Fucking men! Honest to Din!"
"Oh right... Zit?"
"Zit?! Where?!"
"OK, not the Zit then"
"What do you mean, THE zit?"
"Erm..."
"Oh. Dear. Lady."
"It's ok - just colour it in with eyeliner and call it a beauty spot"
"Should I even dignify that with a response?"
"OK then - what was the original conniption all about, seeing as I just seem to make things worse?"
"Oh, it's nothing."
"It didn't really sound like nothing"
"No, no... If you can't see it then I'm sure nobody else will. I'm just paranoid! It's alright for you - you just wear the same green dress every single day! I have to make an effort with this kind of thing! What would people think if their princess showed up looking like some cheap tavern strumpet? Actually I think I WILL do that! It's not like you'd even notice!"
"(oh for fuck's sa...)"
"WHAT?!"
*run*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-10-03 04:10 pm (UTC)and
o__o @ Drunk
I <3 Scent and Strung out on the dung drug!
Date: 2007-10-03 11:59 pm (UTC)Paul, I was very, very, very scared.